|The Church of Kim
Since the new year began I have felt a little relieved that we are all
still here with our lives intact no matter how crazy or confusing they may get. Though I
have tried to leave the religious fanaticism behind, it is still a part of who I am and
what I have begun. Growing up I was told that I would never see the millenium because
Jesus was coming back and the apocalypse would be upon the entire earth, that is if I was
truly saved. We were taught in school that we shouldn't concern ourselves with the
environment because we would be raptured to a perfect place and that our mission in life
would be to serve god and lead as many people as possible to our cause. I grew up in a lot
of fear and it still echoes in my life today.
When the clock struck midnight I wasn't worried about the Y2K
bug, I was concerned with being left behind should the rapture take place. Even though I
have moved on from Christianity I still have the teachings and the fear embedded into who
I am forever, and I often wonder how I will ever escape it. According to most of the TV
evangelist and the local charismatic churches the end times are here and that even though
they can not give an accurate time or date, they are predicting that the apocalypse and
rapture will take place before or during 2003. I guess I have another three to four years
to go before I finally shake these demons that have come to bother me in adulthood.
Trying to have another baby the old fashioned way is coming to a
close. My cycle this past month has been totally bizarre, and for once in my life I am
actually tired of having sex. As soon as I start my period I will be making an appointment
with the RE and go from there. I talked to my friend Andra who is a RN at a local RE's
office and she feels confident that my problem can be easily resolved. I hope she is being
honest with me and not just telling me what I want to hear. Also it looks like my
insurance will pay for most of my treatment and most of the meds I am willing to do. I've
been really depressed and stressed over this whole thing and it is starting to really get
to me. Some insensitive baboon told me the other day I should just be happy with what I
got, meaning Elizabeth, and I AM HAPPY that I have her and that she is healthy and
beautiful but that does not diminish my desire to have another child.
Random Ramblings About My Life
I'm beginning to work on my new years resolutions. This week I
will be going to pay off my library dues and on Sunday I began to learn how to crochet. Stacy is going to start to think I'm a
total idiot because she had to show me a hundred times just on how to do a chain and then
tonight I drove over there because I couldn't figure out how to do a single row.
Mrs. Cool's baby is in the hospital for RSV. I really hate that
too. The kid has been in day care for four weeks now and he has been sick out of three
weeks with a cold, congestion, etc. Another reason to not put a baby in daycare, they get
sick all the damn time.
I would like to thank all the AOL and WebTv viewers for visiting
and reading my site as of late. Why not join the notify list and get updates
and more ramblings from me? Please!!!
I'm working on a new design for this site but nothing is working
for me so far. I really like Stasi new design, a
lot! Where does she come up with those great ideas?