Under The Moon
I believe I've made it pretty clear in my journal how I feel about corporal punishment, not to mention my feelings toward parents who incorporate this into their parenting. The topic "Moving Furniture" has really caused quite a stir on diary-l, because it is mainly about how people choose to bring up their children. I'm choosing to bring up a responsible, independent child who can think for herself without punishing her or hitting her. I feel pretty confident in my parenting, and I really do not have to defend it since I do not do anything to disrespect my child or violate her personal right as a human being. So I'm going to spell out my views on spanking and disrespectful parenting, if you feel hurt, offended or feel the need to never read my stuff again because you just can't believe how much of a judgmental bitch I really am so be it.
1. I believe that all forms of spanking are wrong. Want some clarification? Popping on the hands, swats to the butt, smacking, spanking with your hand, spanking with an implement, etc.
2. I believe all forms of corporal punishment are abuse. Read that sentence again if you have too. Spanking a child is a socially acceptable form of assault in our country, it is a form of domestic violence. The abuse factor can vary from slight to severe.
3. I believe parents who spank are in error and ignorant. I don't care if you are a fucking rocket scientist, if you hit your kids you are stupid. There are many effective ways to parent, and you can always achieve the desired results without hitting. When I think of parents who hit their children one word comes to mind "trash".
4. If your children are turning out well and you have hit them, they didn't turn out well because you hit them, they turned out well DESPITE the fact you hit them.
5. I'm sure that people who hit their children in the name of "discipline" believe they are doing the right thing, but this doesn't make it right. Hitting a child shows poor parenting skills, this may due to lack of education, cultural, or the mentality "i got spanked and it didn't hurt me."
6. Spanking is never necessary. Read that sentence again if you have to. Even in so called "dangerous" situations spanking is not necessary. Hitting a child doesn't prevent them from running into the road or touching hot stoves. There are other ways to discipline and get the SAME results. If your child is a heathen or if they are little angels, it doesn't matter, NO child deserves or needs to be hit.
7. Spanking is disrespectful. For more info refer to my links pages.
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I am what you call a MILITANT non-spanking parent. I have had these opinions about spanking since I was 13, I just didn't get them over night or while reading a book. I practice attachment parenting, and natural parenting. I believe in natural childbirth (and that means ALL natural), child led weaning, baby wearing, co-sleeping, and for some that means not giving your child vaccinations -- and I don't. What some people call my style of discipline is positive parenting or respectful parenting. It works, I know many parents who have parented grown children this way and they never had to hit or punish their children and they all turned out to be responsible, independent adults. This doesn't mean there were no bumps in her road, it means that as adults these kids turned out to be okay and not undisciplined heathens or spoiled brats.
Okay, I'm finished ranting now.