December 8, 1999

Tonight I will get to have some solitude. The house will be all mine. No husband. No child. What will I do?

You think I would be curling up with a good book in front of the fire but instead I will be cleaning the nasty office, and preparing for my aunt's upcoming visit. She claims that she is anot a perfectionist and that she is not a "clean" freak but I am all too aware of how she really is and if the house isn't up to her expectations she will rag me about it for a good time to come. You would think I would be over trying to please and not care about her opinion bu the thing is I do.

My neighbors have invited us all over Saturday night, the night she comes in, over to their house for dinner and drinks. I'm hoping she will be up for it. It will give her a chance to meet my nieghbors and see that I'm relaly not a little girl anymore. The other night we were talking about us trying for a nother baby and she was a little surprised, saying we were too young and poor to be thinking about having another child. What? I was asking myself. Jeff is about thrity and I'm in my mid twenties and we are too young! Poor? Money is tight, but we have very little debt, our cars are paid for and we live in a nice yuppie nieghborhood and we are poor. :::sigh:::

Have I mentioned that my aunt is fifteen years older than I am. She acts like there is such this huge generational gap between us, but what she sometimes fails to realize is that a good bit of our friends and aquaintances are around her age group. She always talking to me about "how mcuh life she has lived" and I remind her that I've lived that same life but experienced it all before even turning thrity and I have a child. She and her husband still have not decided if they want children. HELLO?! Can we say TICK TOCK your biological clock!

7.30pm

Tonight she made some comment about me being a stay at home mother and wife, and boy didn't I have an easy life. I told her that I made the choice to have this life and that she could get off the treadmill and quit that job she only half ass likes and do the same thing. She is very critical of my choice, and can't see how I am a true feminist by choosing to be a housewife and stay at home mother. I can already imagine the conversations we will have while she is here.

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