It's strange having someone stay with you that is a manic-depressive. There is really no way that you can really understand their mood swings or behavior, and the unpredictability is not fun at all. I have enough problems of my own to really be dealing with someone like this, I'm not emotionally stable myself but I find myself wanting to help E------, and her child. This morning "her child" woke the whole house up at ten till 7 ringing my doorbell repeatedly. I was slightly irritated by this and the fact she wasn't watching him, so I got up and retrieved Wild Child from her crib to be greeted by E----- asking me if she could borrow some clothes. Of course I loaned her an outfit only to have her take the shirt later on that day.
At 7:30 she asked if I could watch "her child" while she dropped off her resume. She said she would only be gone a few hours. When someone says a few, I usually assume 2-3 hours at most, how foolish of me. So I said I would watch "her child" but she really needed to come on back to the house asap because I had things to do before I went to pottery class. As soon as she left this kid, which I will now refer to as the spawn of Satan, started screaming bloody murder. He is four and quite big for his age and I tried to calm him down. No such luck, so I picked him up and carried him to the guest room to put him back in bed, he kicked me and hit me the whole way. I told him that as soon as he could be quiet and stop throwing a fit he could come out and play. Fifteen minutes later he appeared with these sad brown eyes and asked if he could watch TV, I told him that we didn't watch TV during the day and that he could play in Wild Child's room. Off he went and I thought that the rest of the day would go off with out a hitch. Can we all say in unison "NOT!"
So I decided to work on my chores for the day when he asked if he could go outside to play with our dog. I said sure, helped him get on his shoes and promptly told him to watch out for dog poop. He was outside for about fifteen minutes when I saw him hitting the dog with a stick so I yelled out to him from the kitchen window not to hit the dog. I later looked up from loading the dishwasher to him purposely stepping in a huge pile of dog mess. This is when I knew it was going to be a long day.
I got Spawn of Satan back in the house leaving his shoes outside and promptly scolded him and sent him to the guest room for a brief time out. A few minutes l returned to find the guest room door open and no kid. I called out his name repeatedly and began searching for him. He was no where to be found, and I could feel my blood pressure rising. I went out the front door and began calling him, and then out back to see if he had returned to play with the dog. He was no where, and I began having a panic attack. I felt like I was choking and my heart was racing. Where in the hell cold this child have gone? So I decided to start looking in all the cabinets and closets. After looking in the kitchen, I returned to the guest room and opened up the closet, I couldn't see him, but on instinct I began digging through the clothes and boxes. In the bottom of the closet he sat with a smirk on his face, I jerked him out of the closet scolding him and telling him how much he scared me. It seemed to go right over his head. The time was now 10o'clock and there was no E------ in sight.
Finally a call from E-----, where I begged her to come back to the house and told her how Spawn of Satan was behaving. She told me he was waiting to talk to the regional manager at a restaurant about a job, so I told her to please hurry that I had to go get MsEm and that I had to get ready to go to pottery tonight. She was back around one o'clock and she seemed quite agitated. First she had not got this job she was really counting on, this guy she slept with when she first got in to town was not speaking to her, and she was trying to borrow a very large sum of money from some friend of her parents. During lunch she did nothing but yell at "her kid" and said that if he didn't mind she was going to kill him. Wild Child watched in horror at her display of erratic behavior and even called her "bad" and pointed her finger at E---- and told her she wasn't nice. It's amazing how perceptive even two year olds are.
E----- then preceded to make more long distance phone calls on my phone and began setting up her utilities. After about an hour, she came to me with this really sweet tone and said "Do you want to be a true friend?" This really pissed me off because for one, I had already kept Spawn of Satan and was allowing her to stay in my home, not to mention eat my food, use my phone, and put up with her mood swings and illness. So, I responded with "Haven't I been a true friend?" kind of have jokingly. So she kind of laughed and says "Couldn't you loan me $400 dollars" like $400 dollars was nothing. I was kind of taken aback and told her that Mr. Wonderful and I had rules that we do not loan out money to friends because it is a sure fire way to mess up a relationship. So E---- went on and on how she would pay me back promptly (which I doubted) but I firmly told her that even though we were friends there was no way I could loan out that kind of money, and that if she liked she could discuss it with my husband. Thirty minutes later she was packing her bags and saying she was leaving.
So E----- left a few hours later, agitated and pissed, but I really didn't care. I was really glad she was leaving so Mr. Wonderful and I could have some peace and that Spawn of Satan would be out of my hair. I'm wondering how much long distance is on my phone bill and if its not much I will probably not ask her for the money but if it is over $10 I am hitting her up for the money with an itemized bill.
After my day with Satan and my manipulative friend I was happy that pottery class was tonight. It was nice to escape for a few hours to mold and fashion the clay. To pound, wedge and slap the clay into something beautiful and artistic. This time I made a pinch pot that I plan to give to my friend. It's quite unusual looking and next week I get to learn to glaze, so I am very excited about that. The four hours I'm gone from home is better then therapy and it is much cheaper. Plus this is something I really enjoy and makes me feel one with Mother Nature, playing in dirt will do that for you.
When I got home from class Mr. Wonderful was waiting up for me. It seems he wanted to talk about the events of the day. Let me first tell you that my husband has never told me what to do, made suggestions about how I conduct my relationships, or told me I couldn't be friends with anyone. He always encourages me and is very supportive, and he has never given me a lecture but last night, for the first time in 6 years Mr. Wonderful gave me my first husbandly lecture. It started out being a conversation of the day's events and then preceded to how E----- could never be alone with our child because of her illness, especially since she admits she forgets to take her medication. Something I agreed with. He then told me that I was not to loan her money or do any type of business with her, because she was like a stray cat and would keep coming back for more. He said that I had enough responsibility taking care of Wild child and MsEm to have a friend that was going to be a leech both emotionally and financially. We also discussed the fact that she asked me to help take care of spawn of Satan once she got work. He told me that I was not going to take on any more responsibility, that I had enough on me, and that he didn't want my emotional health to suffer any more. That I needed to deal with my own life and my own mental health and that helping her with her child would just put more on me then I can bare. I agreed and he said if she asks he would be the heavy. He brought up that we were just now getting to be a normal family again after my mom's death last May and that I was still dealing with the past three years, that I was finally sharing and showing my emotions, and he didn't want anything to jeopardize my progress. He is right and I need to hear that, I also needed to hear that he understood that I was on edge and realize that he has been listening to me. Its wonderful having such a great partner that loves you for who you are and that can be so honest with you. So I took the lecture quiet well and even though he said I couldn't be friends with E---, he did make it clear that I didn't need to have a real involved relationship with her and her problems.