February 1999


Billy McLaughlin's Fingerdance CD is playing in the background. If you have never heard his stuff I suggest you run to your nearest blockbuster Music and at least listen to his style of music. I got hooked on him when I was in college and went to one of his concerts. He plays acoustic guitar and of you like anything from fast to jazzy to mellow he's worth listening to. When ever I am content and feel all is well with the world I listen to Billy McLaughlin.

This morning I was content to lay in bed, feeling the soft cool sheets lay on my naked flesh and listen to the silence that permeated through the house. It was a good feeling. The sun was shining and birds were chirping, and I felt well rested, so well rested laziness is upon me. I know I need to clean up the mountain of toys in Wild Child's room and wash all the bedding and clean up our kitchen but I really do not want too.

Its Friday and I am glad, the end of the work week for Mr. Wonderful is here and tomorrow we are going to visit his home town. I will be fixing his mom's computer that we gave her for her birthday and visiting the newest addition to his ever growing large family. His cousin Stephen and his wife just had their second son, Colby. I was glad it was a boy. This may sound a bit selfish but it's nice having the only granddaughter and only great granddaughter in his very large family where its hard to stand out. Everyone was so surprised when we had our little girl. We had had two ultrasounds confirming that it was a girl but no one in his family would believe it until she got here. It was a very exciting day for everyone, especially his mom who had all boys and all her grandchildren were boys. I hate going to visit actually because Mr. Wonderful has a drunk for a father who is emotionally abusive and he smokes about four packs a day. My in-laws house is so nasty and falling apart that we do not even go inside, this is partly do to Wild child and hubby's severe asthma. I hope when MIL graduates from college she will leave FIL and get her own place, that is clean and safe. For some reason I doubt she will do this, even though for the last 34 years he has treated her with contempt and abused her. She is a die hard Southern Baptist and believes it's a sin to divorce. I suggested she jut get a legal separation and then just hope he dies in the meantime. That didn't fly.

This morning I got an interesting phone call. In fact it was the phone call that got me out of bed. It was a woman I had met through a family friend about a year ago. She was interested in knowing about alternative means to treat or combat cancer. Her sister has breast cancer and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. (My mother died of leiomyosarcoma, a very rare sarcoma) My mom was really into alternative healing, nutrition, and taking vitamins and herbs, and she looked great and felt great, people were shocked when she would tell them that she had cancer. When we found out she had cancer we began doing extensive research on alternative treatments and nutrition and I have since become very interested and knowledgeable in this area. This woman was looking for advice and direction so I'm going to loan her some books from my private library and give her some herbs to get her started. I also referred her to a naturapath that can oversee her sister's alternative treatment. It's nice to pass the knowledge and wisdom on, and I feel secure that my mother did not die in vane and that we all learned something from it. I think this is so important for women to be able to pass on their wisdom to others. All women have knowledge and wisdom but I believe many conceal it out of fear.

I'm amazed at how women also deny the truth and do not seek the wisdom within them. Of course we have been taught to do this for generations, and we have been lead by the medical community that our thoughts, feelings and emotions do not play a part in our health and healing. This has become a great detriment to women when it comes to childbearing and parenting, not to mention denying our gut when it comes to relationships. Of course I am guilty of living in denial myself, and shunning my feelings and emotions for what I believed was the betterment of a relationship. Foolish, foolish woman that I was. Hopefully I am at least half-baked, and I thank the gods that I am in a healthy relationship with my spouse.


Though of the day: Remember to pass your wisdom along.


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