Revenge. It was something I used to be quite good at in my younger years. I was often known for my cruelty when I a relationship ended. If some bitch pissed me off at school, she was going to have something around the corner to make her life miserable courtesy of me. V--- used to comment that she never wanted to be on my bad side, for the simple fact that my revenge was subtle, cruel and came when you least expect it. It's been a long time since I sought revenge, or even thought about it.
Some people who know me now that I am married and have a child, see me as a domestic goddess leading a simple life, having no clue what I was like before I met Jeff. We've been together over six years and not once has the dark side come out. Today however I pondered what cruel memorable event I could perpetrate on V--- for her hurting me and stabbing me in the back. Wild thoughts ran through my head from poisoning her rose garden to voodoo dolls. I imagine that she is waiting and wondering if and when I will do something. If she knows me at all she is probably lying in bed at night thinking about all my past stunts and what, if anything I might do to punish her. That in itself could be revenge.
It is days like this that I fully realize that I am not a good person and wonder how I deserve the wonderful life I have with Jeff. I also come face to face with that dark part of myself that I have tried to keep buried for so many years. I can remember the very first time I did something horribly ugly to another human being. My brother was two and I was five. I wanted to get a hair cut but my mother refused to cut my long blonde hair and it really made me mad. She went out to hang laundry on the clothes line and I climbed up on top of the counter and got a pair of scissors she used to cut coupons with. I remember running back to my room and cutting a large chunk of hair right in front. My brother sat in the hall way laughing and pointing and thinking it was all just a game. I panicked, dropped the scissors on the floor and tried to act like nothing happened. Maybe an hour later my mom realized that my hair had been cut and asked me what happened. I lied. I told her that Tim had cut my hair, and started crying. She turned and looked at him and said "Did you cut Kim's hair?" He said "Yes", with a big grin on his face. I remember her spanking him for that. Now at Christmas time and family functions this is a funny story to tell, but it also goes to show how far I went to protect my ass.
The second time I remember being so cruel I was twelve. I cursed someone. I didn't know anything about the Craft but I remember sitting in a circle I had drawn in the carpet of my room and thinking of this person I deeply hated who had hurt me. I wrote down what I wanted to happen and by the next school year I found out that what I had written on that paper had come to pass. Boy did that scare me, and it also made me feel quite powerful. I bet you are wondering what I wrote? The first thing I wrote was that I hoped something terrible happened to her dog. It was hit by a car that summer. The second thing I wrote was that some thing horrible would happen to her that would change her life forever. The third thing I wrote was that I wanted us to become friends. A little strange but all of it came to pass.
All of the other things I've done cruel and wicked in the name of revenge over bad relationships or an old boyfriend who slept with a sorority chic. I'm not sure if I am ready to expose what I did back then to all of you.
One vengeful act I am definitely not proud was concerning a guy I dated briefly in college. The guy we will call Sam. Sam really wanted to have sex with me. I had just come out of along term relationship and was not interested in not having a sexual relationship with anyone. Sam was one of those touchy feely types and really was aggressive. A few times he tried to get me drunk figuring that would get me to sleep with him. One weekend while he was away his dorm mate told me about how Sam would pay him if he could video tape us having sex because of some bet. The bet was with his fraternity buddies that he would get in my pants within a certain amount of time but he needed proof. I wasn't sure if I should believe the roommate even though he seemed like an honest guy. Well for a few weeks I played him for fool. Letting him take me out, buy me gifts, thinking all the while I would give in and have sex with him. After the semester ended he went home for three weeks. He called and wrote me every day and I even drove to see him one weekend with his best friend, Dale. On the way back home Dale confessed that there was a bet and that Sam had been bragging to all his friends how he was going to get me into bed before the deadline, Dale even mentioned the fact that Sam planned to video tape it as proof. I was infuriated and told Dale that I was going to fuck Sam over. A few days later, Dale invited me over to his parents beach house for a party. When I arrived there were only a few people there, we ate and played cards and watched a movie. Then all the friends left. Nothing happened that night but I had an idea about what I was going to do. Dale was a nice looking man with a great body and there was some chemistry between us for sure and I was going to test the water.
The next day I called Dale and asked if we could get together at the beach house to talk. He seemed okay with the idea and that night I showed up, in my sexiest outfit with a bottle of wine. We had few drinks and talked a while and then I made it very clear why I was there and what I wanted. Dale had no problem with my plan and we ended up fucking like porn stars all night long. Damn that was one of the best sexual experiences of my life. I stayed with him the rest of the weekend, while Sam called my house leaving message after message asking my mom where I had gone too. I called Sam and told him our relationship was over. He kept asking why and what had he done. I told him in the bitchiest possible way that I had been fucking his best friend for a week and that he would have to find another person to video tape.
I had a three month fling with Dale, until we tired of each other and ended it. He and Sam stayed friend, which was really hard to believe. I think Sam was a sucker. I do regret what I did to him though. I think it really hurt his ego and his fraternity made fun of him over the whole situation. (Of course I made sure they heard about it) That kinda thing can really wound a guy. I think he did learn a lesson from it though .