June 12 ~ Letting It All Hang-Out

My cat has gas. The really bad stinky kind. I never thought cats had gas until I got him. They are the silently but deadly kind of farts that make your toes curl. I'm sure you know what I am talking about. Anyway, our cat, Barney, sleeps with us. Most the time he sleeps on Jeff's side of the bed but last night he slept between us up by our heads. You'll never guess which way his ass was facing...my face. And he had bad gas. I don't know what he eats that gives him such atrocious gas, but damn he needs to be rotor rootered. He's getting old so I guess I should look over this.

I've been holding back from my journal and my readers. I'm going to let it all hang out. You know all that stuff you never want anyone to know, I'm gonna tell it. All those opinions that I have that are offensive or controversial, well I'm gonna speak my mind. I may lose some readers over it, I may gain some, I just know that from here on out I am going to be so out there, even when I can't be in "real life" or out in the open.

We went to the beach again today. I don't know what has got me so hung up on the beach as of late but I feel drawn to it. Wild child loves going and Jeff tolerates it. If you ever had the chance to talk to my husband about how people behave at the beach you can tell he didn't grow up near the ocean or any body of water for that matter. I don't know how other people are but here we piss in the ocean. Yes, you got that right we do number one in the ocean, and have no shame. My husband on the other hand will walk half a mile up the beach to flick his penis out and piss in a troth rather than pee in the ocean. For some reason he thinks that people will some how get his pee in their mouths or they will be able to smell urine on him. I can't help but laugh at him.

Another thing that really bothers me is fat chics in bikini's. Have you no shame? I'm a pretty big girl myself, but I don't want to advertise every roll and stretch mark I ever got. I have a nice attractive slimming suit that is modest. When you weigh over 200 pounds and wear fluorescent pink its like wearing a sign that says "Make fun of me". I just don't see how any one that big(including myself) would feel attractive wearing something of that nature, unless it was in private of course.

At home is a totally different thing. We walk around naked as jay birds around here, and I NEVER close the curtains or blinds. I'm afraid that once we move to the yuppie neighborhood that is going to be the end of me streaking through the house. I can just imagine what the senile old folks have said about our nudity, if they can even see us. It may be the thrill they haven't had in years.. My husband wants to have sex in the backyard before we move but I don't see it happening. I can just imagine Neff(this is his real name and he is in his 80s) watching us, peering through the holly hedge watching us get what he hasn't had in years. I have to admit that we have some characters living around us that we will be talking and laughing about for years to come.

By the way, I'd love it if you joined the notify list, lifedestination, at onelist.com.         

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