||July 9, 1999
the last few days I have received letters that proselytize. If you are not quite sure what
I mean, here is the definition of proselytize: to induce someone to convert to one's
faith. I know that these letters are written with good intention and that the writers feel
that they need to save my soul, prevent me from joining a cult, and that I am just a lost
soul heading to the wrong destination, but they do nothing to convince me that I am on the
wrong track in my spiritual walk. So I'm going to give a little spill on me and my
beliefs. If you feel after reading them that you can not read anymore because you will be
up nights worrying about the destination of my soul, I completely understand.
I am 25 years old. I was raised Baptist until I was 11
or 12 and then my parents moved onto Assembly of God and non-denominational churches. I
went to private Christian schools, one independent Methodist, and the other Church of
Christ. I believed I was saved when I was nine years old after hearing a fire and
brimstone sermon about going to hell and that the end of the world was at hand. I was
never baptized because of my fear of drowning.
I was completely dedicated to the Christian
faith. I studied the scriptures, read books, prayed and thought the universe revolved
around the one true God. However since I was 12, I began to question the contradictions in
scripture, the sexism, the wrath of God, and the bigotry. Whenever I asked questions I was
basically told that we were superior (Christians) and that we needed to separate ourselves
from the world and that the demon of humanism had attached himself to me.
A few people have written to say that the
devil has put doubt in my mind and that my faith is falling because my mother died of
cancer last May instead of being healed. This is not entirely true, I had doubts before my
mother died. I was questioning and studying before, but it was even more intensified
afterwards. Her death just allowed me to re-evaluate who I am, and my spiritual walk.
I can not believe in a God that allows so
much suffering, physically and emotionally. Day after day last April and May I walked the
halls of MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston and saw small children in severe pain from
surgeries and chemo treatments. Young men and women, my own age struggling to live as this
disease consumed their bodies. Mothers, daughters, sons, and fathers lined outside of
clinics waiting for some doctor to tell them their fates, and there I was with my mother
who was eaten up with a terminal cancer, there just to buy time. I felt guilty that I was
healthy. I would sometimes sneak into the chapel of the hospital begging that if there
really was a God to save all of these peoples from their pain. A few weeks later my
mother's pain was over, not the way I would have planned but at least she is in peace
I did not reject the Judeo-Christian God
because of my mother's death, I rejected it because I find that it has no truth for me.
I want my Christian readers to know that I
have studied the Bible extensively, and that I made a conscious decision to reject it. I
do not believe the Bible to be inerrant, I do not believe it was God breathed, and nor do
I believe that it is this wonderful book that my morality should be based on. I do however
feel the Bible is a wonderful resource of history, mythology, and it offers people hope. I
read the Bible still to this day, I just don't regard it as a prime directive from God.
I do not believe God is male. In Genesis the
word Elohim was the Hebrew word used to define who God is. This word means that he is
neither male or female, but spirit. I do believe in the Spirit(s). I believe that
their are deities, not one true God, but I believe that this spirit identity is within
ourselves. I am a spiritual being living in a human body and that I have the control in my
life and the energy to make things happen or not happen. I identify with the Goddess,
because I AM a goddess in my own right. I rely on the past, but not just my own but the
ones before me, to guide me on my own journey. I never felt at home with Christianity and
the patriarchy, I feel at home now.
I'm still growing and becoming and I am
interested in the pagan lifestyle and mindset. I understand by the Christian standard that
because I have denied the deity of Jesus, the Bible and its teachings, and have turned
against the Judeo-Christian God that I will be judged and cast into hell if it is indeed
truth. No amount of condemnation for my beliefs or proselytizing is going to change me, I
finally feel at peace with my beliefs. Please respect this portion of my life.
Now if I could just pass this link out to all
my preachy friends and family members. Not.
Back to Journey and
|The Church of
Kim - Where no one goes to hell!
1. The church of Kim does not believe in hell. We have two ideas
about what happens to you when you die, you're either dead or your spirit moves on to
something else -- either reincarnation here on earth or you get to go live where all the
other gods and goddess' live.
2. The church of Kim believes in
karma. You reap what you sow.
3. You have the power to create your
own heaven or hell on earth. Exception: Your childhood, you have no
control if you were born to fucked up parents. You do however as an adult have the power
to move forward and make your life better.
4. The church of Kim excepts you for
who you are; race, color, sex, or sexual preference is not a concern with us.
5. You do not have to tithe. The
church of Kim does not except donations. The church does however encourage even the poor
to give something to others, even if its time. Remember you reap what you sow!
6. The church of Kim does not stuff
the beliefs of the church down others throats.
If you would like to be apart of the
church of Kim, no need to sign up or send in a donation, just take the church of Kim,
remove my name and add yours.