February 1999


I just lit some brand new candles. I have three white pillar candles of different sizes and they smell like vanilla. The aroma is nice and comforts me. In the background the City of Angles soundtrack is playing. It reminds me of death and all of those who have passed into the next life. I've thought about my mom and Tim heavily this weekend and how sudden their deaths were.

Yesterday Mr. Wonderful and I rode three hours so I could fix MIL computer. We chatted while Wild Child slept. Our discussion was mainly about religion and the fact I am turning from christianity. Hubby is the only one I have really been able to talk to about this, though I have had some deep conversation with my sister. I'm tired of worshiping a god, and trying to live by these biblical standards just so I will not go to hell. I am disenchanted. During our talk we talked about my new fascination with paganism and the Tao, he seems to be content that I'm stretching out my mind and considering other spiritual options. His main concern is how are we to raise our child. I was thinking more on the lines of Universalism and then as she ages and matures she will be open to whatever religion she wants to engage in.

When we finally arrived at MIL house FIL was standing on the carport smoking and sneering. I didn't speak and Wild Child wouldn't even go to him, if he spoke to her she would scream "NO!" and "Stop it!" at the top of her lungs. It took me fifteen minutes to fix the computer, and that really pissed me off. I hated that we blew a whole Saturday driving down there because no one wanted to help MIL do something the computer illiterate could do. So we went to lunch (FIL didn't go) and visited with hubby's grandmother for a little while. Four hours later we were on the road again with our whiney Wild Child. To say the least it wasn't a pleasant day.

So this morning I got up, pulled on some clothes and planned for my big grocery shopping trip. They were doubling coupons up to a $1.00 and tripling up to .50. I sorted through hundreds of coupons, made a list, and headed to the Delchamps. It took me two hours to complete my shopping but it was well worth it. I got $125.34 worth of free groceries. This was a good way to start out my day. I love saving money and I love getting stuff for free. It's a wonderful hobby.

Right now I'm tired and do not feel like writing much more, until next time....


Thought of the day: Toddlers do not make good traveling companions.


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