being fat, overweight, whatever, I just hate it.
Last night as I was getting ready to go to bed I realized I had gained all
the weight I had lost after I had the baby. The first year after she was born I lost
almost fifty pounds, then my mom died and this past year I have gradually put it back on.
I've tried every diet there is, I either fail or the weight doesn't come off. Who can live
on grapefruit for weeks? I even tried the WeighDown diet by the christian woman. Still no
I don't eat all that much and I eat pretty
well, I just don't exercise. The doctor keeps telling me either get on the thyroid
medication or exercise till I drop. These are two things I don't want to do. I used to
work out twice a day in the old days, and I was in excellent shape but I hated it. Did I
mention that my friend Kathy is a personal trainer? She is always offering to help me out
but I just don't feel up to it. I'm sure its because she is older than me, in great shape
after TWO kids, and I will poop out after walking a mile. Embarrassment is what it's
I have the fitting for my bridesmaid dress in
six weeks. I would love to tone up and lose a few pounds before my fitting. I need
motivation, I need will power, I need a torch lit up under my ass. I'm thinking of pulling
the Richard Simmons thing out again, and sweating to the oldies, taking those vitamins
that make you sweat and feel like you are on a high.
Last night I was laying in bed, thinking
about the weight, thinking about the wedding and the Disney Trip and wondering if I should
just drop trying to get pregnant until the begining of next year. Decisions, decisions. I
can still have the infertility workup done after this cycle, but I can just sit on it and
try to lose some weight and get in better shape. After the Disney Trip in November we
could start trying again. I know I need to start walking and get some stamina before
going to Orlando. Hmmmm, a motivator perhaps.
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