Pissed does not describe the way I am feeling right now. This is a doozy of a story. The reason it is hidden is because I believe that my sister-in-law, Lee is reading my journal and this rant is about her.

Background: My brother-n-law and his wife Lee have been married for nine years. They have two children. The oldest child is hers from a previous relationship, and my BIL adopted him. I will also mention that this child is biracial and my husband's family was not to keen on the idea because they are a bunch of racist rednecks.The second child may or may not be my BIL child. My SIL had an affair, did not use protection, slept with both men within days of one another and got pregnant. My BIL knows. They had been married five years when he found out about the affair, and that the baby she was carrying may not be his. They had suspected for sometime that he was infertile because she has been pregnant several times before, they used no birthcontrol and had sex like dogs in heat. He didn't care who the biological dad was, and he said he wanted the marriage to work, and that he loved her and the children. I have to admit that as soon as I found out she was pregnant I suspected the child may not be his, I was shocked when she later she admitted to me that she didn't even know,nor ever planned to find out. So its been four years, two separations later but they are still together. Now for my rant!

Well my BIL and SIL have always had financial problems and everytime they turn around they are being bailed out. My BIL Trace has given them money and never seen one dime repaid, my MIL has given them money, they filed bankruptcy and had their cars repoed, and last year we gave them a very large some of cash after I got my inheritance to help them catch up their bills and pay off some debt. Well unknown to me my mother in law took out a loan in her name, using Grandma's CDs as collateral and took a loan out for them to the tune of $8000. They have never missed a payment until recently, but they are now 3 months behind and the bank is threatening to take the total balance and subtract it from Grandma's CDs. This has ruined my MIL credit, not to mention Grandma's CDs are her nest egg should she have to be put in a nursing home. My  SIL Lee's phone has been disconnected too. Well because her husband works for a county agency they have a computer and internet access hooked up to their house via a modem line provided by this agency, so I have been able to communicate with her for the past three weeks through Instant Messenger. Well I'm just really fed up with all the bull shit, up until a few weeks ago she has been seeing the father of the second child again. She swears up and down they have been using condoms and that she has only slept with him once in the past few months. WHATEVER! Now you can guess why I am so pissed -- she believes she is PREGNANT. HELLO! you are poorer than dirt, irresponsible with money and who is the father this time bitch?! Anyway if she thinks she is pregnant in all likely hood she is, she has been pregnant many times and pretty much knows by symptoms alone   before even taking a test. I felt like vomiting when she told me. So I asked her, I asked her who the father was, and she swears to god its her husbands, that there would not be a doubt in her mind about the parentage of this kid. For some reason I don't believe her, but I suppose it could happen, right? God I hope the kid is her husband's. Whata fucking mess. So she keeps going on and on about how she really doesn't want any more children and I can't help but feel contempt for this girl. Here I am, like many of you on this list, trying and hoping to have a baby and this bitch can get pregnant at the drop of a hat, and doesn't even know who impregnates her half the time. I HATE her.

I cried over this shit in frustration. I am suppose to be her friend and all I can do is sit here and hate her and hope that if she really is pregnant that this kid is my BILs.

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