March 7, 1999

I'm really pissed at my very best friend V---. This whole weekend she has been nothing but a bitch. I love her and all and consider her family but when she has PMS she is a real pain in the butt. I excuse a lot of her attitude problems because 1)she is my child's godparent, and 2) I consider her family. Its hard to describe just how she is. She is a anal first born child, very domineering and though she claims to be open minded she is very opinionated. Well she was busy working in her yard all weekend, while I was busy buying a house.(YES I finally made a decision) That evening I called her to tell her about my exciting day, just like she did back in August when she bought her house, to get the answering machine. She doesn't date and I KNEW she was home, she was just screening her calls, so I don't get her and I leave a message knowing she is there and to have her call me. Well today she left a message on the machine and I tried to call her back, no answer so I didn't leave a message a few moments later she called. I began to tell her about my day and mentioned that while I was out with a friend and her fifteen month old child, that the child screamed at me and her mother the whole time. The child is FIFTEEN months old. So V--- says "I would have given that kid something to cry about" meaning she would have spanked or hit this kid. This is one place me and V--- disagree. I believe that spanking is immoral, cruel, considered abuse and out of line. Don't send me hate mail or tell me there is nothing wrong with spanking because I will either A) Believe you abuse kids B) Think you are a stupid idiot and C) that you have no children and your opinion doesn't mean shit when it comes to parenting. I hate to say it but V--- falls into the latter category. So I spoke up, and told her it was wrong to hit kids and she snidely replied "Thats your opinion" and I said well the majority of the medical community and counselors in our society believe it is wrong, and frankly I see it as immoral to hit kids. She hung up on me. This is what I'm saying about being a bitch. She can't have a conversation when she has PMS, and she thinks her opinion is the only right one, thus her reason to hang up. Well I'm sick of her attitude, she pulled "Well that is your opinion" shit on me the other day when I told her that I was upset that she hit my dog. At least she is consistent with her discipline. Anyway this whole thing upset me because my child spends a great deal of time with her. She is aware that our child is not to be spanked and now I'm almost wondering if she would discipline her in that way. My trust is wavering in this area. She practically worships my child and Wild child even calls her "mommy" when I'm not around so they really have a close relationship. Now this really has me in a tizzy because I know if she were toe ver hit Wild child that would be it with the friendship, I would never trust her or her judgement again. I think another thing that really pissed me off is that she really didn't have time for me and my news but whenever anything is going on in her life she expects me to listen and be there to hear it all and go through it all. I hate having a rant about V---, but I can see why she doesn't have a man, it is possibly her selfish attitude and the fact she can be mean and bitchy. She doesn't have many friends and around Christmas time ended a friendship with someone over these same reasons, her stubborness played a part as well, I might. We've been friend for thirteen years and this has gone on since day one, I figure in a few days she will call wanting to know the latest gossip or wanting to see Wild Child.

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Okay so I made a decision on the house. Saturday morning I finally broke down and decided to jump in head first on building this house. Mr. Wonderful is excited too, he was really pushing the idea of this house and neighborhood. So Saturday we went and put earnest money down and signed the paper work, now we have to get approved for our loan this week. I'm really sweating bullets over this loan approval. We've never had a judgement, a credit bureau, a bankruptcy, or a repossession, nor have we had trouble getting approved for auto loans, but a house is a biggie and I'm scared we aren't going to get the loan, and I'm even more afraid of how Mr. Wonderful will feel if we don't get it. Our credit has really been good for a year but before I inherited all this money we were robbing Peter to pay Paul month to month and I'm betting that is going to bite us in the butt. Even though we have paid off all our debt and we are about to pay off both new cars, I'm afraid the past is going to haunt us. I can see NOT APPROVED stamped all over our paper work now. I don't see how I'm going to go through the next week worrying like this.