A Passage Through Instance...

October 9, 1999



A Passage Through Instance…

Another life,

Another chance,

Another level

A new present tense

Will catch one by latent

Surprise as her misfortune

Frees her from the instance of present

And resumes her being…

…as her lifelong friends embrace

her in triumph that her sole be spared,

her life's blood warm

and her radiance vivacious.

A lamb has been taken from the den of lions

A life from Death's tenacious grip.

Destiny has beaten Fate in this round of play…

…while the Grim faces she knew as Brilliant--

the shattered countenance of her lover,

her mother,

her father,

her friends from youth

begin to tell the story of the graces that Life had been

kind enough to send in Her delicate package…

…they applaud…

…these, they mourn…

…they sigh…

…these, they cry…

…She? …to her, the mysteries are invisible. The Others?…


…only virtual…

And again she passes!


Jeffrey Last name omitted

October 8, 1999

Jeff wrote this poem last night. Sometimes I am a tad jealous of his writing talent and wish that I could utilize word and metaphor like he does. He doesn't write poetry often but when he does, it knocks your socks off. The question to my readers is, what do you think the poem is about? Let me know what you think.


I've had a small piece of glass in my foot for the last few days and I can not see it. I know its a piece of glass because last week I broke a glass in the office and even though I picked up all the pieces and vacuumed the floor I'm sure there were a few slivers left in the carpet. It hurts when I walk and I'm wondering how I am going to detect the glass much less get it out.


Yesterday I went to the Southern Holiday craft show with Mrs. Beater and her children. I think she realized she hurt my feelings the day before about the cat and was trying to make it up to me. We actually had a nice time.

Mrs. Beater is a  big spender and I am not. she also really doesn't have the money to spend and is already about $20,000 dollars in debt due to her shopping extravaganzas. While at the craft show she spent several hundred dollars. I bought a really nice ceramic Halloween item that lights up and says "Trick or Treat". I sat there for almost fifteen minutes before purchasing it because I wasn't a necessity. My mother taught me that you were never to spend money unless you needed it or it was a gift for someone else. Till this day I have a problem buying myself clothes or things that I want, even when inexpensive. Jeff is always telling me I need to spend more money on myself. Once when I went shopping he told me that I could only buy for me and no one else. I came home with nothing.

I did realize something that I really want to do and learn and that is sew. I saw so many cute clothes, pillows, and things for children that I would like to have that were sewn. I have two sewing machines (both inherited and very nice) and all my mother's sewing supplies and patterns. I now have the space to sew too since we have four bedrooms. After the first of the year I am going to look into taking some classes.


Last night I was really depressed and saw Stacy online and asked her to come get me. She showed up a little after ten and asked if I'd go do something morbid with her. "Of course", I told her as I hopped into the car. I called Jeff about ten minutes later and told him I wouldn't be home for a few hours and to leave the door unlocked because I forgot my keys. On the way to our destination, a cemetery where one of her old lovers is buried, I had me a few cigarettes.  SIDE NOTE: Don't worry there is no chance I'm pregnant, I got my period, another reason why I was depressed. We got to talking about this guy named Hugh she has been kinda seeing on the way there and I was very unimpressed. If you read her journal, let me tell you she is leaving out some crucial information over there about this guy's character.

Well we got to the cemetery and got out of the car to look for this old lovers marker. I'm smoking, she is smoking and she is asking me if I'm scared. What? Me scared? Hell no, I lost my virginity in a cemetery, they really do not phase me one bit. So we are waling around with the lighter looking at headstones because she can't remember what day he died, after looking at about three, we finally found his and left. The whole way I home I lectured her on this Hugh character. I just do not want to see Stacy hurt anymore or being with men who lie to her, cheat on her and disrespect her. I guess when you have been friends with someone since you were eleven you kinda feel like you are a little responsible for them.

Once we get back to the house we sit out in the car listening to the new Chris Gaines CD. The stereo was up pretty loud and I wonder if we might wake the neighbors because it was 1 am. No sooner had I made a comment about how loud it was I saw the Beaters lights come on. Oops. The Stacy claim she has to pee really bad so we decided to go inside. Whatdaya think I find? The door is locked and she is panicking and talking about how she is just going to squat in the yard. I then remembered that we were leaving the living room window open in case Barney comes home while we are asleep and we ran around to the back of the house and went in through he window. I thought once I was married I wouldn't be doing shit like this, but when I am with Stacy anything can happen.


Barney has still not come home and if you watch the Weather Channel, you may know that down on the Gulf Coast it has been raining for the last three days and there has been some flooding. Luckily this afternoon it cleared up and Jeff and I went around passing out flyers, talking with some neighbors, and looking in what wooded areas remain in the area. someone thought they spotted him earlier in the day, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

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Under the Moon