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*Warning* I am about to offend you, I am about to unleash the bitch that harbors inside of me, you might think that I am talking to you, you might take this personally. DO NOT throw anything at the screen. DO NOT bang your fists on the keyboard. DO NOT go look up my phone number and call me names on the answering machine. Okay, now that we have settled that.

What is it with people today? Or should I say what is it with parents today, or those people who are trying to have children. Are you so fucking selfish that you can't see the forest for the trees?

Let me tell you right now, before you go reproducing that EVERY child deserves the best, if you can not provide a child the best, then please think twice before breeding. Now I'm not talking about your personal best, I'm not talking about the best clothes, or the hottest toys. This has nothing to do with money, this has nothing to do with your own personal achievements, this has nothing to do with what you think is best -- this is about what is best for children, all children and what all children deserve.

Number One: Every pre-born human being deserves a healthy host. This means no drugs, booze, or smokes. No matter how much you want it, no matter how addicted you are, or how many times you tell yourself its okay, do not do these things, your child deserves better. A healthy host needs to take vitamins and folic acid, she needs to eat right, and she needs to have proper prenatal care. * If you can not(or will not) provide these things for your fetus you are already considered a loser in my eyes and that child deserves better than a loser.

Number Two: Every new born baby deserves breastmilk and be breastfed. Breast milk is BEST, not just best for some infants, not just for the majority of them, but for ALL of them. Now, I understand that 5% of women cannot breastfeed, so if that is you, then skip this part. Do not deprive your child of the best just because you are going back to work, your partner doesn't want you to, you don't feel like, or because you have some type of damn hang-up -- EVERY child deserves good tit milk, at least for the first six weeks of life. Formula is not best--keep repeating that to yourself. If you need help breastfeeding, email me and I'll help you out.(no grown men please)

Number Three: Every child deserves to be at home, not day care, not at grandma's, not at the sitter's, but with mom or dad. Now, before someone chimes in that putting your child in daycare is "best for your family" and that "you have to work" and "daycare is not bad" is full of shit and is not thinking about what is best for the child, but what is best for them. I'm not saying that you are a completely shitty person for putting your child in a kiddie kennel, I'm just saying you need to motivate yourself into thinking what is best for baby and not what is best for you. YES, I do know some people have no choice and they have to work, but be absolutely sure when you make comments like this to me, especially if you are driving a brand new car and wearing a Tommy shirt. Also, before anyone thinks that I think mom has to stay at home with said child, is wrong! I know several stay-at-home dads, and they are way capable and way cool!

Number Four: Every child, all children every where, deserve to be treated with love and respect. A part of this means NO HITTING. Let me clarify this point -- do not SPANK your child, do not SLAP your child, do not SWAT your child, do not hit your child's hand, do not pick up objects such as belts, paddles, wooden spoons and hit your child with them. No child deserves to be treated this way. I don't care what your god says, what political party you belong to, or if you were whacked around and feel it didn't affect you. The thing is each and every child deserves the best, and you are not giving your best or doing your best if you hit them.

If for some reason you think your child does not deserve the best, please email me, I will give you directions to my house so I can smack some fucking sense into your head. If you are contemplating having children and can not give them what they deserve, then please get sterilized or use several methods of birthcontrol at once.

Children are resilient creatures. They can grow up in all types of homes and turn out perfectly swell, but why not just give them what the deserve, giving them the best of what is out there instead of mediocre.

The Spouse

I would like to say that having Jeff home today has been wonderful. That of course would be a lie. He got on my last nerve smacking his lips, clicking his toes, messing up my cleaning schedule, and doing various other things to get on my nerves.

I am Queen and I do not like it when my daily rituals are interrupted with burps and farts, bad humor, or screwing up the lyrics of my favorite songs. So what if it is his vacation? So what if his paycheck pays the mortgage? Can we not have some common courtesy and decency in this house!? I'm just not used to having him here during the day, all day long, and after a week of being with him day in and day out I am starting to feel claustrophobic.

Thankfully I have some peace and quiet for a little while. Elizabeth is asleep and Jeff is at the gym.

Random Ramblings About My Life

I had a debate today with an ultra-conservative right wing, bible beating christian today. Can you tell?

Our mailbox is not up to USPostoffice standards so Jeff is going to have to chop it down and move it three inches closer to the road and four inches down. He is not happy about this.

Everyone on the street is going out of town.

I ordered some gifts online over a month ago and they still have not arrived. Some people will be getting IOUs.

My new kitten, Lucifer, and my other cat, Callie, have become quite fond of one another.

I miss Barney, I wish he would come home for Christmas.

Yesterday was V---'s birthday. I did something out of a character and completely ignored it. I thought about sending her a card, out of sheer kindness, but then it dawned on me that would be something she would expect, so I didn't do it.

I'm terribly hormonal today.