December 26, 1999  A Brave New World
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reading: Mother of Pearl by Melinda Haynes

listening: the cats playing in the background

eating: hot fries

drinking: grape kool-aid

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Wild Child Drive By
Today I took a giant step in an effort to potty train Elizabeth.

The potty has been sitting in our bathroom for over a year. We have played pretend with the potty, we have sat on the potty and demonstrated what we put inside of the potty. It is time for this child to get out of those size four diapers and join us underwearing folks who wipe ourselves. So today I bought her some "big girl" panties, with Pooh and Minnie Mouse on them.

I came in, opened up the packages  in front of her and asked if she wanted to wear the panties. A resounding "Yes" came forth out of her lips and I couldn't have been more excited. I took off the diaper, put on her new panties and told her about how we pull our panties down and peepee and poopoo in the potty. Then we watched a video about going to the potty  and sang the song "I'm a super duper pooper".


I don't want to screw this up. I do not want my child to be scarred from early training. I am afraid my new furniture will be soiled with urine and that my carpet will soon look like it belongs in a barn than in a home. I need an easy solution to potty training and after reading four books, reading countless articles and talking to various parents I feel more confused on how to get my child to put piss and shit in the toilet than anything else I've done as a parent.

Here is some of the advice I have gotten:

"Threaten her with a spanking.She's old enough to understand we do not pee on ourselves."

Ummm, this seems pretty barbaric and cruel. Nope don't think this is the route for us to go.

"Wait until she is ready."

This sounds like damn good advice. Elizabeth has demonstrated that she can use the potty, she has done it at other peoples homes and she has sat on the potty with her diaper on and done her business, only to announce "Diaper dirty" a few moments later. If I keep waiting, I'm afraid she will be the only kid in kindergarten wearing those size six diapers Pampers advertises.

"Bribe her."

I am seriously considering this. Bribery goes against my parenting values but in this instance I am willing to bribe. I'm sick of changing shitty diapers, I'm sick of spending $20 a month on diapers and wipes. I hate seeing that bulk between her legs in the size three outfits.

And for some reason I think that she would be potty trained if it wasn't for me. I wonder if I have babied her too much. I wonder if I have suffocated her into staying in diapers. I wonder if she somehow sensed my own fears and hesitations over potty training.

If this is a parenting test, I'm afraid I'm failing.

The Church of Kim

Last night I was letting my sister-in-law borrow a book from my personal library, When God Was A Woman by Merlin Stone. It was right when everyone was leaving and my dad noticed the name of the title. At first he made a joke out of it and then went into this spill about how god made "man" in his image and that therefor god was male. AS nicely and delicately as I could I corrected him, telling him that in the traditional Hebrew text it does not say god made "man" it says god made "them" and no sex was given. He looked a little surprised and said that he read the King James Version of the bible.

I soon ushered everyone out the door before a huge religious debate erupted.

Tonight I will post a flash back from my days at Christianity Online and my departure from their community.

To Whom It May Concern:

I can't take much more of the brand of Christianity I see on here. I no longer want to be a Christian, just the word Christian makes me sweat, and I feel sick. So far I have only met a handful of "Christians" who have any sense and have the reality of life in check, not to mention they have compassion and good judgement and probably see Jesus in the light he should be in but the majority of the people I have met is as follows:
So far in the past two years I've seen bible worshipers, charismania at its worse, fundies trying to dominate, Calvinist who swear only a choice few are going to heaven, women who follow this strange theology of submission, full quivers, and disciplining and raising their children like they are a herd of animals, not to mention some of the religious homeschoolers I've come across who just down right scare me as they preach about preparing for Armageddon. I've also seen people endorse abuse, say children and babies are going to burn in hell, criticize those who can't have children, say that daily sex is a commandment from God, and many who think its the "christian right" to kill abortion doctors, beat and kill homosexuals, and discriminate against couples who have interracial marriages or the color of their skin. This isn't even half of it and all of these people call themselves Christians.
I ask myself everyday do I really want to belong to such a group. Do I even want to go out and public and bring others to a religion that I think is full of sickness, lies, and disrespect for minorities(women, children, gay, other ethnic groups), not to mention most of it seems right down culty.
For the last ten months I've been trying to get over the theology of "God promises are true, He never lies, and everything else is irrelevant or false" Well what about reality, the here and now, and the fact that Christians do die, get sick, can't have children, lose children, get beat, get raped, get abused, are gay,etc. Is all of that something we should ignore?
It's time for me to depart COMB. I no longer want to worship your god or follow his ways and I no longer want to belong to this kind of religion.

I'm out of here. Kim

Random Ramblings About My Life

Today I bought 16 rolls of paper towels and 48 rolls of toilet paper.

Diapers were on sale at Target and Kmart, Pampers $17 for a Mega pack. I had $2 coupons.

Tomorrow I will be putting up towel bars, a mirror, and putting the Christmas boxes in the attic.

My friend K-- sold me a cherry finished computer desk with a hutch for $50. I wanted to give her more but she wouldn't take it.

Tomorrow would have been my mother's 50th birthday.

I just downloaded the upgrade to make my PC y2k compliant.