April 22, 1999

This week was hubby's spring break. We got on each other's last nerves. Short on cash because it is the end of the month, and tomorrow we are paying out $425 for his oral surgery, there really wasn't a lot for us to do that didn't require money. I felt he was constantly underfoot, unbalancing my day, and getting Wild Child off her semi-schedule. I have been in a terrible mood, reacting in a bitchy way, and finding most everything irritating. He was bored, depressed about his current job, and worrying over having oral surgery tomorrow. WE both need a vacation, and I would love to take one with out the kid. I'm hoping that in the fall we can go to Calloway Gardens and stay in a cabin on a long weekend.

I bought another pregnancy test tonight at the drug store. I couldn't bear to wait another moment so I took it. It was negative. I feel relieved but I'm still wondering why the delay on my period. I have a second test, so if I haven't started by Sunday I'll take it. I should own stock in EPT or Fact-PLUS at the rate I use these. I guess whenever I do start, I'm going to start charting my cycles again.

In case some of you are lost, I do not believe in using birth-control, especially since I am in a committed, monogamous relationship. When I was single I was on the pill and used condoms. After reading about the pill and the effects on the body I decided that I did not want to put synthetic hormones into my body, have my reproduction organs stifled, and give my brain the false impression that I am constantly three months pregnant. Condoms are a pain, ruin the moment, and they break me out, plus hubby loathes them. After I married I began reading up on Natural Family Planning and Fertility Awareness and took a Fertility Awareness correspondent's course. Lately I have been lax in charting my cycles, checking when I ovulate, and reading my temps each morning. If I had been charting I would know what was going on and would have not had to waste $25 so far on home pregnancy tests.

My MIL came back into town tonight. She is going to be keeping Wild child while I'm at the hospital with hubby. She says she plans on leaving Saturday. This is good, because I can hopefully get a babysitter for Wild Child and go out and practice on my pottery some. I talked to my teacher and she said it would be okay to come to her studio and practice as long as she was there and not using the wheel.

Well, I'm getting tired. Peace.