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Ordinary Life October 11, 1999 Right now I am leading an ordinary life. Tonight I had a Tupperware party with all the neighborhood wives and really had a good time. Elizabeth however had to throw a little temper tantrum which embarrassed me. I am always thinking that people are scrutinizing my parenting techniques, especially since I do not believe in corporal punishment. After returning her to bed several times, she soon fell asleep and I was able to relax. An argument broke out about breastfeeding and I had to break it up. I really do not want to get into it right here because I'm sure down the road breastfeeding will come up and I will get to share my feelings on the subject. _______________________________ Yesterday I got a wild hair up my ass to do something constructive so I went to Home Depot and bought paint and paint supplies for Elizabeth's bathroom. I'm usually not that motivated but last night I painted the bathroom a deep sea blue, three coats and trim work AND put the wallpaper border up. It took about four hours all together and it looks really good. While I was at the Home Depot I picked out paint swatches for Elizabeth's room and the kitchen. I'm hoping that I can paint the kitchen the first of next month when Jeff's check comes in. The kitchen is mostly windows and cabinets so I'm thinking it shouldn't take that long. I really haven't hung anything on the walls or picked out draperies because I was waiting on my Aunt Cindy to come so she could pal around with me to pick stuff out. We spoke this weekend and informed me she was coming, which really wasn't a surprise but I was disappointed anyway. I haven't seen her since Christmas and she hasn't been to Mobile since we buried my mother. You would think she would try and come when her father is still alive and poor health. She is the only "real" family I have left except for my grandfather (who is crazy) and I try to have a relationship with her but we have a totally different out look on life and different values. Oh well, maybe she will come the next time we have a funeral. ______________________________ This guy pimped me the other day in his journal and I thought what he said was really nice and sweet and funny too! Please check it out http://www.geocities.com/smartasadog/. He's fairly new at this, so give him a chance. Check out his biography page too, I thought it was cool. ______________________________ Today Jeff passed out over fifty flyers in our search for Barney. I would like to thank everyone for writing me and offering support. Realistically, I have doubts he is coming home and I sometimes sit and wonder what happen to him and my mind runs away with me. I've cried alot and I miss him dearly. I have trouble sleeping because he isn't in bed with us. I hope he returns, I hope someone calls me and tells me they found him but hope is fading. I even prayed last night for his return. I was desperate. I said "IF there is a god can you at least spare me this pain and my daughters pain, bring my Barney home." Of course my faith is shattered in any god so I don't know why I sunk to that level, probably habit. |