April 6, 1999

I feel aggravated at those who make presumptions and feel they are better then the rest of us. Recently something happened at my niece's school that really disturbed me and pissed me off at the same time, and then to have my sister think it was okay and justify what happen maybe me feel sick.

I am a liberal and I have no problem admitting that I am, or that my views may be different then mainstream Americans, but this outraged me. Some time back my niece was told that her parents were bad and evil because her mommy and daddy were not married, by another child. It is known at the school that her mom is not married and that she doesn't have a daddy. The teachers are aware he was murdered. Well evidently this little girl heard from her parents that only married people are suppose to have babies and that if you have a baby and you are not married that is bad. I can understand why conservative fundamentalist types want to tell their children these things, it's mostly out of fear but also stupidity because now of days there is more then one way to have a child. Single women and men are choosing to have children without a spouse and there are also those who are gay and lesbian having children that are not in traditional marriages, not to mention the single people who are having kids. I think it is horrible that we label the union evil and bad, placing a stigmatism on a child who plays no part in their creation. Don't parents realize that when they tell their children these things that they go out and repeat them. After this whole incidence with MsEm, Mr.Wonderful and I have decided not to label the creation of a child or making of a baby, limiting it to the married, because in reality that is not is what is happening, there is more then the traditional mom and dad married in the church type of unions. Goddess forbid I unintentionally hurt a child blabbering some idealist view of the world and have her repeat it. And kids talk and they parrot what their parents say and believe it like it is the word of God.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't teach our children moral values or rules for the society that we live in; I think we should be compassionate, understanding that not everyone lives the same and that placing judgement on certain lifestyles not only hurt those we judge but those around them. My niece has taken this idea of evil and badness she has been told her parents committed onto herself, thinking that in some way she might have caused her daddy to leave. Some kid even told her that if her daddy had loved her mommy he would have married her, little does this other child realize that daddy got a bullet in the head before there wedding date. I had to explain to MsEm that her daddy did love her mommy very much and that he had given her a ring that promised he would marry her. But she is four and four year olds really do not understand the ends and out of life. Can you imagine how this child feels??? Not only has she lost her father, her grandmother and has had other upheavals in her life but now she has to endure condemnation from children her own age and their parents. What kind of sick twisted world do we live in? And why are Christians promoting such judgmental attitudes? Its not only Christians that think this way. My sister even said that those parents had a point and that idealistically people should be married. BULL SHIT. The reality is that we should not try to conform others into our mindset and beliefs and we definitely should not judge them upon our ideals and beliefs when they may have a different values then we do.

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