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May 16, 1999 -- Malicious Intent I do not know how to say this, I am wounded. I am devastated. V--- and I are no longer friends. Half of my life I have been friends with this girl. I have loved her, put up with her walls, her emotions, her anal-retentive behavior, not to mention the nutty men and that affair she had with a married man. We grew up together, shared happy times, gossiped, and incorporated each other into our families. She was the godmother of my child, and they had a close and beautiful relationship. I have loved and trusted the wrong people before, but she was the last person I ever thought would be cruel and cold hearted to me. The thing that bothers me the most is that she calculated this, with intent to hurt me.(she told my husband this when he confronted her) She knew that this week would be hard on me, she knew I was depressed, she knew it was my birthday and she knowingly and maliciously set out to stab me in the back. All over a misunderstanding and her terrible perception of reality yet she failed to even come to me and discuss any of this. Jeff basicly told her she was a coward. For someone to have loved me and my child, someone who she said she admired and trusted and had been friends with for years she cold heartedly told me on my birthday she no longer wanted to continue our relationship. She said that I was a manipulative person trying to control and run her life by telling her what to do (this was in referring to her dog) and that all my relationships were about me, me, me. This coming from a girl who told me all the time how I gave to much to my friends and needed to do more for myself. Someone who commented on my loyalty and said that I had to many one-sided relationships, yet she told me that our friendship had been one-sided. When I asked how she could be such a bitch to me on my birthday, she said she had learned from the master, that what she had done was with intent. She was seeking to punish me for something I had no idea I committed, she had festered over small disagreements and misunderstandings and instead of coming to me, her best friend and really her only friend, she decided she would hurt me and dissolve our relationship during the hardest week of my life. How did it come to this? I have to admit that over the past 12 years or longer I have seen her do this to countless people, close friends, boyfriends, lovers, and her own family members. Why I never suspected she would do this to me I will never know. I thought that our relationship meant more to her. I thought she loved me as a part of her family, not only as a friend. I can't believe she turned out to be such a cruel, heartless person -- someone who would maliciously hurt me. V--- is a liar, and I made very poor judgement when I trusted her. What angers me the most is the fact my child will be hurt by this. My child loves and adores her and loves going to her house to play. When she sits and plays with her dolls she talks about V---, she pretends to talk to her on the phone, and she asks to go see her. This morning Wild Child asked to go to V---'s house, I told her that we would not being going to visit V--- anymore. She stuck out her bottom lip and began to pout and started saying "Go to V---'s". I sat on the floor in tears telling her that V--- was no longer going to be around and that we wouldn't be seeing her anymore. It's the hardest thing I think I have ever had to tell my child. Hurting me is one thing, hurting my child is another and that feels me with disgust. One of the last things V--- said to me is that I had a sweet wonderful child and that was the best thing I had ever done and she hoped she turned out well with parents like Jeff and I, and that as far is she was concerned our relationship was over. I was in shock and devastated all at the same time. I couldn't believe that one day she talks as if we are wonderful parents and great friends to her and the next we are terrible people. I feel like I was divorced. I feel like I never knew her, or I was extremely blind to who she was. I couldn't imagine doing what she did to me to any of my friends, especially if they had a moment of weakness. Jeff is right she is never going to get a man. My other friends all think she is the biggest bitch and are also in shock over her behavior and they all agreed she was going to be a lonely old maid with no friends and family to speak of. Everyone is under the impression she has lost her mind (she has done this to three other people in the last 6 months or so). I wonder how she can be so attached to my child, buy and do things with my child, and even designate a room in her house for her. And then do this to us, knowing that if she screwed the relationship up with me that I would never let her have access to my child again. I am beside myself. I am at a loss. I wonder if I can forgive her.
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